THE ROLE OF GIVING IN DATING RELATIONSHIPS

The attribute of giving is fundamental to healthy relationships. The first thought that enters the mind of most individuals when faced with a new situation is “How is this going to affect me?” If they determine that they will be inconvenienced or required to do something unpleasant, they be refused to become involved.

When you enter into a dating relationship, position yourself as the giver in the relationship, not the receiver. Understand that the relationship is not a give and take arrangement. It is a give arrangement. One of the greatest types of individuals you can look for are those who live to give. You must strive to be on the giving end of all your relationships.

The essence of relationship is for mutual reliance and interdependence. By person’s choice, each party brings to the relationship all that he has, ready to contribute to the lopes, dreams and future of his partner. Whether it is material goods, favor, or wisdom is not the result of some sort of commune mentality.

The most important thing to remember is that no one does us anything. No matter how close and intimate the relationship. By keeping a consistently grateful posture, you give your partner the joy of initiating when and how he wants to bless you.

A dating relationship is not meant to be a partnership where each individual is usually set up with each partner contributing parts of what they have to make up the whole. A dating relationship, however is a 100/100 arrangement. Each party enters the arena ready to contribute 100% to the success of the relationship, eager to give 100% of their life to promote the other’s future and dreams. When both parties enter the relationship in this manner, everyone’s needs get met, and everyone’s future is bright.

Contribute, Don’t compete

In relationship, you must each bring to the relationship elements that the other needs. One contributes what the other lacks. Your strength covers the other’s weakness. This is why the principle of difference is so important which states: your value in a relationship is determined by your diversity. Ask yourself this question. What do I bring to the table that no one else brings?

I learned long ago to quit competing with my partner in relationship. I always take time to exactly watch those that I am in relationship with. I observe what their strong points are, and I stay away from this strength on areas where they are strong, they don’t need me. Instead, I fill in the cavities of this weakness, thus becoming what they need.

Your value in any relationship is the difference that you can bring, to cause success to come to your partner. I don’t need to become what other people need because I’m afraid of what may happen if I don’t. I am not passively allowing myself to be molded by another person. I become what is necessary, because I realize that doing so gives me a real person to be in that relationship. I’ve earned my position at any table, the moment that I become what someone needs me to become. I am the one they are looking for; because I have answers and solutions to their problems. You must understand that your values to others are in direct proportion to the problems you solve for them.

Many people become very frustrated in life because they don’t see a purpose in what they are doing. They feel valueless and unappreciated. Remember you will be needed in every relationship, when you are willing to lay down what you perceive to be your own identity, and you embrace the identity that is necessary. Become what another needs. Answer questions that no one can answer. Keep promises that others break. Be willing to go where no one else will go. Be willing to do what no one else will do and do it well.